Being complete

Things should not begin the way they are begun. The violence is way too terrible to bear. The initiating process is the most difficult and complex part of life, and its end, thus, has to be complete, perfect, easy and simply absolute. It should not merely be welcomed, but chosen, rather than being accepted as an unavoidable reality.

The defects, the flaws, the diseases which often tend to make one hasten towards that ultimate peak point called death, where one realises how beautiful his journey so far has been and relinquishes all his prized possessions to be exchanged with perpetual peace and quiet, and rolls down, being engulfed in the snow, freezing and going cold with every breath it refuses to inhale, are the ones which make the journey both challengingly exciting and murderously undesirable at the same time.

Some would say, it all depends on one's perspectives, after all. True! Ability is a matter of choice, so I believe. I should rather know, but since I haven't been able to prove it, neither to myself nor anyone else, I have to believe in that theory until and unless I myself experience it in tangible form.

The challenges, the obstacles, the hurdles in my path, the weaknesses, the distractions, the temptations, the diseases, all sorts of evil, their appearance is merely an indicative of a new beginning; each and every time. Whether to initiate or not, whether to hold on or to give up, whether to choose or to abstain, is entirely my choice. There is always a good reason to choose, there is always a good excuse to abstain from choosing.

The reason doesn't come out of thin air, though. It is linked to its roots and these roots help me stand on my own, in perfect posture, symmetrical, well balanced. These roots are fed through reasons, which I use to choose, and thus linking myself to my own roots from another route, an exterior route. Once, I manage to reach my roots through consistent reasoning, the circuit is complete. I become an absolute entity, perfect and self sufficient. This process, of reaching myself through the reasonable me, like a banyan tree, is a very uncommon phenomena among human beings called ideal living.

Abstaining from choosing decays the veins which can lead me back to my roots. The rust, the decay, is faster, much quicker than my imaginations. Because the rust simply corrodes my creativity too. It makes me parasitic, for I no longer am able to produce anything on my own, due to lack of creativity. The more I abstain, the more I develop hurdles in the path of seeking self. Sustained abstinence, thus gradually makes me unworthy of the efforts taken for the initiation and continuance of my whole existence. I was brought out from my mother's womb because it was felt that it was time for me to stop living like a parasite and breath on my own. I betray that belief by abstaining, by becoming a parasite once more. I thus still complete a circuit which takes me back to my roots, but in a dangerous fashion, finishing me off in the process, turning me into nothing.

It is often debated that being complete is equivalent to being nothing and hence perfection should only be desired to boost inspiration, but not to be wholly achieved. I have realised the difference between being complete and being nothing. Both are absolutes, but the latter lacks density. In simple words, being nothing can simply be represented by drawing a zero on a piece of paper, but you will need a heavy spherical ball to represent the concept of being complete.

- Kaustubh Anil Pendharkar